Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Download includes CD booklet with full credits, tray card, and discface, PLUS a bonus track "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" from the Gizmos Go To Purdue Live 1979 album.
Purchasable with gift card
$8USD or more
Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album
Happenin' holiday music from 16 Gulcher artists including Thundertrain's MACH BELL; GIZMOS Kenne Highland (Vatican Sex Kittens), Eddie Flowers (Crawlspace), Ted Niemiec, and Phil Hundley (back for his second helping of Snerts); the MX-80 SOUND Family of Angel Corpus Christi, Rich Stim, and MX-80 themselves; UK Power Pop from the STIFFS, MONSTERPOP, and the AUTOMATICS; Bill McCarter's STALINGRAD SYMPHONY; Ken Kaiser's X-RAY TANGO and, from '78 with Highland, THE KORPS; Bloomington's WALKING RUINS; and from San Francisco everyone's favorite queers, PANSY DIVISION!!
Includes unlimited streaming of Xmas Snertz: Have A Very Gulcher Christmas!
via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
Ho Ho Ho! And what do you want from Santa this year? Huh? You'd all like to get invited to that crazy Christmas Party over at the Gulcher Records offices? Well friends--you're in luck in 2003! XMAS SNERTZ is your ticket to the hottest holiday bash in town. So grab those stomping shoes and pop this party platter into your blaster!
We are met at the door by chanteuse Angel Corpus Christi. Angel takes our hat and reveals that it "Still Feels Like Christmas." Ms. Corpus Christi has an alluring voice that makes us wanna loosen our ties and stay for a spell. And her sweet concertina just sucks us right in.
Wait a minute, do I hear power chords coming from the coat check room? Hey, the Automatics are in there shouting "Merry Christmas"! This one's a really catchy holiday rocker with big background harmonies that the whole gang can sing along with--"reindeer roasting on an open fire" indeed!
Yikes! Who is that rockstar swinging over our heads from the chandelier? Why, it's Mach Bell! He must be taking a break from his latest Thundertrain tour. "C'mon Santa!" is Mach's newest tune, with his Elves playing backup, blowing harmonica and banging on the fuzztone guitar, as Bell instructs Santa on exactly what he's expected to deliver under the tree this year.
Excuse us, but who are those strange characters shuffling around and round in circles over by the reception area? Oh, don't worry, that's just Eddie Flowers and Crawlspace, chanting "Christmas Time Is Here Again." You gotta admit it's a catchy tune, sounds like something the Beatles could have written!
Who's that dude jumping up and down on the bar, riffin' that "blastoff" guitar? Why it's Phil Hendriks of the Stiffs, from Merry Ol' England! If you dig great lead vocals and tight harmonies, you'll be rockin' to this revved-up rendition of the Elvis Presley classic "If Every Day Was Like Christmas."
Hey, what's that action behind the closed doors of the Gulcher boardroom?! Who's that in there? Why it's the Chairman himself, Kenne "Gizmo" Highland & His Vatican Sex Kittens! "Ho Ho Ho Merry Giz-mas!" warns Highland as Aram Heller unleashes a Stoogeworthy chord progression on his Stratocaster. Typically, Kenne's "Can I Please Crawl Down Your Chimney?" is in highly questionable taste, and luckily the fadeout arrives just in the nick of time.
Out on the balcony we can hear some unplugged Lightnin' Hopkins-ish acoustic guitar wafting in on the chilly breeze. We join the crowd listening to RED SNERTS veteran Phil Hundley's low-key memento to his baby daughter, "Your Very First Christmas." With its "turtle doves and fuzzy gloves," it's a charming change of pace.
Meanwhile out back in the Gulcher cottage, the lights are low and the Korps--that noteworthy duo of Kenny Kaiser & Kenne Highland--are crooning of wintery romance in "The Blizzard Of '78." Groove to the Freddie Cannon keyboards on this X-rated outtake version!
Up front in the foyer Monsterpop, just in from Scotland with a gigantic sack of Gulcher fan mail, unleashes "Coming Home For Christmas"! This is fine old school rock 'n' romance, heartfelt vocals and soaring guitars, all gift-wrapped with production that sounds like a million pounds.
Like a snert in the punchbowl, "(I Spent) Christmas With The Devil" stops the party dead in it's tracks. Lyrics like "Santa came from the same folks that brought us Coke" stun the revelers as the haunting melody plays on. Then, from the back of the packed Gulcher ballroom a shout erupts: "Hey! This is a funny song! MX-80 is the balls!" The whole crowd erupts with cheers and carries the band around the room on their shoulders.
We detect some tasty electronic thumps and blurps coming from the hot tub area so we dive right in with Ted Niemiec's bubbly "Be More Often (Chirsitmas Version)." The Gizmos co-founder paints a pleasant audio canvas, "like a winter exhibition by Monet or one of those impressionable guys."
Pansy Division are lurking over there under the mistletoe, but be forewarned, those innocent-looking lads are planning to have a "Homo Christmas" this year. A hilarious XXX number and our sides are still sore from laughing. We might have more than just sore "sides" if the Pansies get their Christmas wish.
Out back on the loading dock, Stalingrad Symphony are gifting us with "Old Taunt & Bomb," excerpted from their operatic opus "Struggle." See if you can catch Bill McCarter's inside notes.
Heading to the buffet table, we find Rich Stim entertaining the guests on his steel drums, knocking out that wonderful Xmas chestnut "Jingle Bells." MX-80's lead singer is all instru-mix here, editing in a few new and spacey twists and even a snatch of hip hop to update this old standard.
The Walking Ruins are set up on the diving board out by the Gulcher swimming pool, mobbed by the holiday partygoers. "Happy Hardcore New Year" is the perfect choice for this wild-eyed gaggle, happily living up to it's two-fisted title.
Well it sounds like the cops are swarming out front, and they've started battering down the office doors. Time for one last song! It wouldn't be a Christmas party without some cool surf music and Kenny Kaiser's awesome X-Ray Tango are here to oblige! "We Three Kings Of Orient Are" is groovin' away in the background as Gulcher prez Bob Richert leads us all in a snaking, shaking conga line out the office window and down the rear fire escape to safety.
What a party! What a CD! Are you dreaming of a SNERTZ Christmas? Who isn't?! Order your XMAS SNERTZ today! (CMB)
credits
released November 19, 2003
Sixteen Holiday Rockers!!
Thirteen Previously Unreleased!!
Twelve Original Songs!!
You'll have a VERY GULCHER CHRISTMAS this year!!
Thurston "Gizmo" Moore at Sonic Life book signing at Monorail Music, Glasgow, Scotland, November 16, 2023. Photo courtesy
Lindsay Hutton.
As time unfolds we'll be uploading more Gizmos and related releases to Bandcamp. In the meantime, you can visit the Official Gulcher Store at Big Cartel for the complete discography, or message us directly for Gulcher's set sale list....more
supported by 4 fans who also own “Xmas Snertz: Have A Very Gulcher Christmas!”
Me and my friend used to go on drives all the time, and a lot of the time i asked what he was playing, and a majority of the songs were from Yo La Tengo. And since i went and listened to And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out i was fan. Never thought i’d buy one of their records for myself. violetstain
